Adoption can be very difficult for all parties involved. Of course everyone’s main interest should be the child, but there are times when things just don’t go the way you might think. For example, when a child is placed in a foster home what happens when the child gets attached? I know of woman who didn’t want to be involved with fostering for that reason. As a foster parent you can get attached to a child and it can be agony to let it go.
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Perhaps that’s not a big issue for the parent’s but what happens when it is the child who doesn’t want to go? There is a big difference between the foster parent’s having to let go and having to push the child away. So now you have this tug of war over the child between the foster parents and adoptive parents with the child stuck in the middle and the foster/adoption agency trying to make things smooth for the child…
Here is an even harder challenge, what happens if the child has been temporarily with a family member who didn’t want to, or just couldn’t adopt? Now the child is being pulled from their real family into the unknown. Most of these problems are limited to children of older adoptions. In most cases children under 5 have little say in what they want to do and they have little serious input as far as their future. But when the child is 8 or over, they will have some say and they will be another influence in the process.